Friday, December 17, 2010

Twas The Week Before Christmas

After a month of simply trying to stay warm.........(we've been under the influence of what seems to be a never ending wave of polar air, with nighttime lows dropping to as low as 11°F/-11° C)......I had neglected my personal grooming, and I had begun to slowly ressemble that furry beast of yore. That's a bit of hyperbole actually, as the constant epilation has significantly reduced the total number of body hairs, and left the ones that remained much finer. Nevertheless, I was sprouting once again, and feared going to seed!

We seem to have entered a bit of a thaw. The mercury made it all the way up to 38°F/3°C today, so after clearing yesterday's three inches of snow from my deck, steps, and truck, I made my way up to the mail box out on the highway, and then back down to the house for a shower, followed by a long overdue full body epilation. It only took an hour to do my entire body from my neck to my ankles. That's how much my body hair has been reduced by regular epilation. No wonder that electrologists tell you to stop waxing or using an epilator. More hairs for them to take care of......and charge you for! I first noticed this phenomenon decades ago, after I began to tweeze my eyebrows. After a while, I noticed that some of the hairs were not growing back. This was especially true of the hairs between my eyes, above the bridge of my nose, and the hairs that used to wrap around the outside corners of my eyes. Today they are all gone for good. In effect, the constant plucking had enabled me to permanently achieve a much more naturally feminine brow line. Later I would discover this same phenomenon on my legs, and eventually on my entire body.

So............the lesson to be learned boys and girls, is that constant hair plucking weakens, and in some cases even eliminates hairs! If I had know that, I would have started waxing my face as soon as the peach fuzz began to appear!

Anyway...........I am now completely hairless once again, and it feels absolutely wonderful!

As I type, I am listening to the Nutcracker on my local NPR station. I love the music, but regret to say that I have never even once seen the ballet! Oh, I've see snippets of various productions on TV. Those are unavoidable this time of year, but I have never sat in a theater, and actually watched the entire performance unfold before my eyes on stage. Am I a sad case, or what?

Christmas is right around the corner, and I bought my mother a brand new set of kitchen knives, on-line, and had them sent by UPS, to her condo on the tenth floor of her twelve story apartment building. Last Monday I told her to expect a package, but to be extremely careful with it, if she decided to open it before Christmas, as she could easily injure herself on it. She asked me what it was, and all I would tell her was that it was something that she had been needing for a long time. Any woman who carves a turkey, a roast, or a ham with a bread knife, because all of her older knives are too dull, too rusty, and of no use to her anymore other than as butter spreaders, needs a new set of sharps for her kitchen!

Other than in some pictures I have shared with her, my sister has never once seen me en femme, yet for the second year in a row now, I have received a Christmas card from her addressed to Melissa! Isn't she just the sweetest?

As I said earlier, we have been under the chilling influence of a seemingly permanent wave of Canadian arctic air, (thank you very much Halle, and others in the frozen wastelands north of our border). For the past month, temperatures have been 10-15 degrees below average for this time of year. I live in an all electric home, so I am not looking forward to my next electricity bill! Last month's bill was shocking enough, and it hadn't even gotten cold then. The pond at the bottom of the hill out back has completely frozen over, and the barren wooded hillsides of my subdivision, are now covered in snow. Cruel winter has set in with an utter lack of regard to personal comfort, yet still, there is a stark sort of beauty to winter's bleakness. Tonight I gazed out the window, and the moon light had the snow covered woods set all aglow! If you had a mind to, and you were sufficiently bundled up to ward off the cold night air, you could easily navigate your way through the woods by moonlight alone. What hearty creatures the squirrels, raccoons, o'possums, foxes, deer, turkey, and all of the other creatures of the wild must be, to survive such harsh conditions. It makes me respect them all that much more, and wonder how anyone could kill them, unless their life depended on their meat for their survival. Obviously I am not into hunting for sport. It just seems like such a sacrilege!

A week from today it will be Christmas. I don't claim to be religious, let alone a Christian. I am agnostic, yet there is something about the Christian tradition at this time of year that will always appeal to my heart. It is one of two times on the ecclesiastical calendar, where judgement of the human condition is put aside through divine grace, and the unlikely prospect of human perfection is celebrated. What's not to like about that? So in that vein, let me wish you all a very Merry & Peaceful Christmas, and in the words of the one who's birthday we are about to celebrate, "judge not, lest ye be judged......."

Peace on Earth,
Melissa XX


El said...

"Navigate through the woods by moonlight".....Yes one can.Reminds me of living up on a hill surrounded by woods. There was this very narrow trail one could use as shortcut for getting home from town or going downtown. Once I came back from a dance, much passed the time I should have come home. I was walking up the trail by looking up to the moonlit sky peering through the trees. When I got to the road I was afraid to be caught getting home so late. Decided to sleep in the woods knowing that my father got up late. I waited for some people coming up the trail from having attended 6 AM mass in town and followed the last person up and pretended to come back from church.
Sorry, could not help sharing this.

Caroline said...

What an example!

I wish the plucking and die worked for hairs sprouting from my ears! Now I have to go and check and contort to try and grab them.

Don't they make ground effect heat pumps where you are, with all that ground you are sitting on free heating...

Just off to dress the pagan Yule tree.

Caroline xxxx

Halle said...

A trip to experience the National Ballet of Canada production of "Nutcracker" is one of the fond memories of youth for me. You should see it some day because it adds beauty to already beautiful music.

I share your lack of interest in the ecclesiastic aspects of Christmas. It is, however a time of when a sharing nature dominates. It may be that this (in the Northern climes at least) is an echo from the winter solstice celebrations of old, when we noticed the end to the shortening of daylight, and the promise of the return to warmth!

By the way, we in the Great White North have two pieces of info:
1. Those terrible storms we on the North-eastern part of the continent experience are the result of COLORADO low pressure cells!

2.That terrible cold you experience only passes over Canada... it begins its journey in a place called ALASKA (meteorologist might argue that, but it is my comment, and I am sticking with it! LOL).

Merry Christmas, etc. :)

Jenny said...

Don't worry, it's not just Canada that gives other people cold weather, we've got 8 inches of snow outside and we're told it came from Russia somewhere.

I am impressed with your sister. Mine would probably send me a card as Jenny if I asked, but I haven't yet.

Debbie K said...

Well done on the progress you have made with your hair removal & congratulations on that special Christmas card from your sister.

I am sure your warm heart will thaw away the snow.
Have a wonderful Christmas.
Wishing you Peace & happiness in 2011.
Debbie x

Melissa said...

@ Halle

LOL Down here in the lower 48, we call it an ALBERTA clipper!

Stay warm, friend!

Melissa XX

Stace said...

You know everytime you mention your wood / pond I get jealous.

I can just picture the inside cover of Ronko's A Christ Present (blue album) after reading your post. It sounds magical!

(My parents alway put this on when deorating the tree when I was younger - I would love to find a copy of it to buy now)

Hope it's not so bad that you can't enjoy it!


Amy K. said...

Nikki and I (mostly Nikki) have been plucking my facial hair for almost four years now. A very selected few have vanished, but at least 50% of the rest have gotten much finer. That makes them much less noticeable, but harder to rip out with the tweezers. They hardly hurt at all anymore. It feels good when they come out, kind of like scratching an itch. I have a spot on my lower right leg that's completely bare. It happened due to my sock rubbing there during The Before Time (tm). Too bad it didn't work like that with the left leg. It's a nice freebie when shaving though.

I can't stand cold like that. Just reading this post ma feel soooooo coooolllld! I much prefer our sixties and seventies weather over here. After living here, I don't think I could ever move back up north.

Melissa said...

@ El

If I tried to sleep in my woods now, I woud freeze to death. In the warmer months the mosquitoes and ticks would drain me dry.

@ Caroline

What is it with getting older and developing ear hair? I was standing in front if the mirror one day, tweezing my eyebrows, when I noticed a two inch long gray hair growing out of the side of my left earlobe! I have a little battery powered trimmer about the size of a fountain pen, that I use periodically to mow the fuzz around my ear canals.

@ Jenny

The nice thing about my sister, is I never had to ask. She even gave me a lovely feminine scarf for Christmas last year.

@ Debbie K

Thanks for your kind words! Best wishes to you for Christmas and New Years too!

@ Stace

Those are all classics! We always listened to them at Christmas time too!

@ Amy

I guess that constant plucking just damages the follicle. After two decades of epilating, I have virtually eliminated 90% the hair on my legs. What's left is practically invisible now. A quick once over with the epilator every of weeks is all they need.

Melissa XX

Caroline said...

Earlobe hairs! Don't get me started!

Marianne Faithful, Broken English helped me decorate the tree this year so if it looks a little punky you know why.

Caroline xxx

Anonymous said...


I enjoyed your comment over at T-Central so much that I moseyed on over and had a little read on your blog. What a wonderful vibe you give off - of kindness, intelligence and warmth.

I say "You're Welcome" on behalf of all Canadians for the beautiful White Christmas we are sending your way. As you touched on, winter has its own amazing beauty, and many of us love it up here. Besides, once it becomes tiresome, you have no idea the joy that spring brings with it!

Happy Holidays and New Year to you!


Calie said...

Interesting comment about the hair plucking. I have often wondered if that works but have found no actual answers until I read what you wrote, Melissa.

The issues I have are my chest. Very little hair but I just hate it. If you shave it, it grows back and gets very uncomfortable. I have tried plucking, one by one with tweezers, and we'll see what happens. It may sound crazy doing this with tweezers, but there are few hairs there. Nevertheless, they drive me crazy.

Calie xxx