Sunday, October 31, 2010

Greetings From My New Mac Book!

Sorry, but I've been incommunicado for the last several days. For over three good years, my I-Mac served me well, never giving me a moment's trouble. Then last week, I kept getting the spinning color wheel of doom. Restarting it seemed to take care of the problem, but a few hours later, the spinning wheel would return. Restarting always took care of the problem until a few days ago. Then suddenly, the spinning color wheel of doom came up, and the only way to shut it off was to shut the computer down, but this time when the computer was started back up, it refused to reboot. Instead I just kept just kept getting messages to restart my computer. Repeated attempts at doing that failed though. I didn't know what else to do.

So, I hopped in the Dakota today, and trekked on into the west end of Richmond this afternoon. Since I wanted another I-Machine, I was immediately drawn to the place where I bought my I-Mac over three years ago, but when I pulled into the parking lot, the store was no longer there, having been replaced with an Office Max. Nevertheless, I went inside to see if they sold Mac's. A dear sweet young woman met me, and asked if she could help. I asked her if they sold Mac's and sadly, she said no. Then I asked her if she knew the nearest location of an Apple store, and happily she said, yes! How sweet of her. She told me there was one in the Short Pump Town Center Mall, just a couple of miles to the west.

So, off I drove, and when I arrived at the huge open air mall, I began to search for a parking space. I haven't been there in several years, so I couldn't believe it! There wasn't a parking space to be had within a quarter of a mile of where I needed to go. I weaved back and forth through one lot and the next, before lucking out and encountering someone leaving in a distant lot. As soon as they pulled out, I immediately dove into the vacant space, before anyone coming in the opposite direction could claim it. Yes, unfortunately it's dog eat dog when it comes to shopping center parking! Spaces were filled up, all the way to the outer fringes.

Once out of the Dakota, finding the store was another experience. I had only been there once before, about six years ago, and then only to go to a specific restaurant. The place was so huge that even after looking at the posted directory, it took me another ten to fifteen minutes to find the Apple Store. In fact I walked right passed it once, but eventually I found it, and waked in. Immediately my heart sank, There must have been a gazillion people in the store! I thought I would have to wait an eternity to be served. I slithered through the maddening crowd, which for some odd reason or another, seemed to consist of a large number of young Chinese males in cadet uniforms, totally enamored of the display of I-Phones. There were also a lot of middle class white Americans surrounding the Mac Books. To my surprise, when I wasn't looking at them for more than two minutes, a somewhat geeky guy approached me, and asked if he could help me. Was I just lucky, or did he have the power to discern a serious customer from a tire kicker? Or did he think I was a fellow geek as well? Hey don't laugh! I have not doubt how geeky I come off in boy mode! I'll never know for sure, I'm just glad that he picked me out of the multitudes! At least it's good for something!

At any rate, he was great! He asked all the right questions, and gave all the right answers! A far cry from some of the completely clueless tech sales people I have had to deal with in other stores. Within 20 minutes, I was out of there with a brand new Mac Book Pro, sold to me for a $100+ corporate discount, because he saw my retiree ID Card from my former employer, when I opened my wallet to take out my debit card. Good thing I worked for a major international corporation, instead of for Joe Schmoe's corner store. Why is it that Government and corporate employees, and their retirees get a break, when Joe Schmoe's employees, who only make minimum wage have to pay full price??? Something is very screwy, and frankly quite rotten about our American capitalistic system, when the the well off get $100 discounts, and the indigent have bear the full cost! What's up with that? It galls me, but I suppose in the overall unfair scheme of things, I should just consider myself lucky to be able to go out and buy a new computer at will. There was a day when I wouldn't have been able to either, discounts or not.

But that's neither here, nor there. I just got back on line, where I can keep up with all of you! And that brings me to a somber note. Veronica, from Right Side Up, appears to be putting an end to her lovely blog. I sincerely hope she invites some of us at least, to view her new writings. Surely, we should now be thinking of this lovely sweet post-op woman, in terms that transcend transsexualism . much as I love Autumn, we are creeping past peak color here in the Virginia Piedmont. Don't get me wrong, it's sill quite beautiful around here, but probably half of the leaves have turned and fallen. It seems that the most colorful trees right now, are the hickories. They are a deep orangey yellow, and really stand out in the late evening sun. Very beautiful indeed! Some of the Gums didn't turn their blazing red this year, simply turning yellow instead. Hot dry summer? Who knows? But the Maples never seem to fail us, and most of them were absolutely shameless! Deep red- orange in color, they certainly seemed to be ablaze!

Yesterday saw my bi-weekly supplication to the Goddess of Epilation. As High Priestess of the Church of the Immaculate Epilation, it is my solemn duty to keep my body from being defiled by unwanted hair, so I had no choice but to submit to the cleansing ritual. 45 minutes later, all was smooth and silky, and the deity was once again pleased. I am now at peace!

Melissa XX

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Oh Dear! I Tought I Had Lost You All!

I was having difficulties with my computer today. It seemed that I was frequently encountering what our dear sweet adorable Lori in Phoenix has described as, the "Mac, color wheel of death."

Those of you with Mac's surely know what I'm talking about. Suddenly your program freezes, and you are relegated to staring at a colorful spinning wheel, as though you were watching a perpetual edition of Wheel Of Fortune! No amount of mouse clicking, or "cntrol esc" punching can free you from this monster. You simply have to turn off your machine for an extended period of time, and allow all of the flip fops to resume to zero. (The term "flip flops" is an arcane reference to solid state devices, that store digital information in the binary language of ones and zeroes, not unlike we simple minded human beings, who store Gender information, strictly in the form of Male and Female!).

After three hours without power, I decided to re-boot my faithful I-Mac, and........Wal -la! There it was! Apparently, all it needed was a rest, to calm it's mind from all of the BS floating out there on the interwebs. True transsexuals, fake transsexual, misguided all makes my head hurt!

Only you can determine who and what you are. Who is more transsexual than someone else? Who the hell cares?

I love all of you! Primary, Secondary, Type V, Type VI, Group I, or Group II, you are all in my heart, and you are all very dear to me!!!

Melissa XX

An Audio Transgender Sucess Story (from NPR)

Teresa Sparks speaks out on NPR's All Things Considered.

There is no one transsexual story. We are all unique. Don't ever let anyone intimidate you into thinking, that you are not a true transsexual, no matter what they claim their expertise to be. Transsexualism is a self-diagnosis. Only you, can define who and what you truly are.

Melissa XX

Sunday, October 24, 2010

For Caroline

Isn't this one of your favorites?

Melissa XOXO

Saturday, October 23, 2010

We Are Not Psychopaths!

A little eccentric maybe, but certainly not off our rockers!

The recent sensational news reports, and lurid photos of the twisted former Canadian Air Force Base commander, who broke into the homes of women and adolescent girl's to steal their underwear, and who eventually raped and brutally murdered two women, has undoubtedly sent shockwaves through the trans community. Is there any doubt, that there are now ignorant transphobes saying, "See! I told you that those people are all sick!"

But let's get real. Col. Williams was a psychopath, plain and simple. It has long been known, that trans people are categorically among some of the most peaceful nonviolent people on the planet. Make sure that you let everyone who makes that simple minded equation, know what the truth is. The media outlets that reported this story should have had the decency to make that distinction, but in this new age of yellow journalism, sensationalism is all that matters. The scum!

On A Lighter Note

Tonight I enjoyed one of my favorite Saturday night pastimes; watching re-runs of Are You Being Served, and Keeping Up Appearances on my local Public Television station. Are You Being Served has to be one of the funniest sit-coms ever. There are not many shows on TV that will invoke audible laughter from me, but I laugh out loud (That's LOL! to all of you texters.*wink*) every time I watch that show. I just love all of the characters, especially Mrs. Slocombe, and Mr. Humphries. I've probably seen most of the shows, because PBS has been running them every weekend since the early 90's, but I still laugh every time I see them. I used to think that All In The Family was the best sit-com from that era, but I think Are You Being Served out shines even that venerated comedy.

And of course who couldn't laugh at the hysterical antics of social climbing, Hyacinth Bucket, and her embarrassing dysfunctional extended family, in Keeping up Appearances? Great comedies, both! I'm so glad they are both still in syndication.

Melissa XX

Thursday, October 21, 2010


I've spoken before about my love for the works of Gustav Mahler. Listening to this snippet of his Symphony No.1, 1st movement, is it any wonder why? This is on my list of music to meet my maker by! The trouble is, I'm an agnostic. I wonder if my maker will be there to share it with me?

Maker or not, who could ever resist the magnificent voice of Luciano Pavarotti? My sister shared this with me today, and I would be remiss to not share it with you. It's quite famous, so I know you have all heard it before, but how could you not want to hear it again? From Turandot, Luciano Pavarotti sings Nessun Dorma. If there are angels, some of them must sound like this!

Melissa XX

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Early Color In The Piedmont

These aren't the best pictures. Unfortunately, they were all taken in haste. Some from a moving vehicle, and some with a slightly shaky hand. If you click on each pic, you can open it up, and another click will expand it to full size. These beautiful trees are analogous to all of us. Some are in a more advanced state of development than others. Some seem to have barely progressed at all, and some will do their utmost, only to turn brown and go dormant. Yet all are beautiful in their own right.

Melissa XX

Rocky and Bullwinkle

They were once the best of pals, but Rocky had a secret. Turns out he was a transspecies. Unhappy with his life as a rodent, Rocky went into therapy, and later sought medical help to become the human he always felt he was inside. It was an amazing success story! After years of torturous electrolysis, and massive doses of anabolic steroids, Rocky not only achieved his life long dream of becoming a human, but went on to become Heavyweight Champion of the World! He is now living in stealth, with his wife Adrian in Philadelphia. She knows nothing of his past life, as a cartoon squirrel.

Sadly, when Rocky became human, he could no longer relate to his old pal Bullwinkle. Bullwinkle always wanted to become human too, but there was that little problem with his antlers. They would always grow back, making it impossible for him the pass as a human. Rocky wanted nothing more to do with him, for fear that camaraderie with a lowly cartoon moose, would remind people of his past, and cast a pall over his marriage to Adrian. He was also afraid that once the news got out that he used to be a super flying squirrel, his boxing opponents would cry foul, and petition the boxing commission to strip him of his title.

At last notice, Bullwinkle was still in mourning over the loss of his old pal, and was seeking solace in friendship with Boris and Natasha, who had emigrated to the west after the fall of the Soviet Union. Although mere cartoon humans, Boris and Natasha turned out to be great fiends. Even though Bullwinkle found it impossible to permanently shed his antlers, they still accepted him as a human being, and a dear friend.

Rocky, before the change:

Melissa *wink*

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Is There Anything More Stinking Than Burned Microwave Popcorn?

I was experimenting with different methods of nuking popcorn tonight, in order to get more kernels popped. I should have taken the directions on the bag for granted. Surely they knew what they were talking about, but I wanted to push the envelope! Well......I pushed the envelope alright, and I crashed an burned! Twice! The first bag, while totally inedible, only needed to go into the waste basket.The second bag was smoking so bad, that it had to be taken outside, and used in a religious ceremony, as a burnt offering to the deity!

The above picture is proof that autumn has arrived her in the Piedmont. The burning bush is a Dogwood; Virginia's state tree. This picture doesn't actually do the colors justice, since it was shot through a tinted windshield, very late in the afternoon. There is actually a lot more color in the Piedmont right now, than what this picture is showing, but our subdivision has a lot of white oaks, and they tend to stay green until they just turn brown. Our prettiest trees in the fall, are the Gums, Maples, Dogwoods, and Red Oaks. We still have a couple of weeks before peak season, so I will try to get you some pics in brighter colors.

About fifty miles away, up on the Blue Ridge Parkway, it will soon look like this!

Is this not the most beautiful time of year? I've always loved autumn. I think it has a lot to do with my old school memories. Fall was a time when once again, I was surrounded by the females that I so much identified with. I loved the annual return to school, for that very reason. Of course because of my closeted status, I could never reveal this, so I tried to live a secret female life vicariously, through my relationships with them.

Ah.......but if only it could have been so simple! You see, I also had to share classes with boys, and in those days especially, boys and girls did not mix outside of dating situations, unless of course the boys were effeminate gays, and then only at their own risk. The male bullies specifically targeted them. Those of us who where TG, but still attracted to females, often ashamedly found cover in that homophobic sexism. Yes, it was at the expense of our own integrity, and self-esteem, and yes, we were thoroughly ashamed of it, but unfortunately it was the only way our immature minds knew how to deal with this social paradox we were forced to live with.

If we hung around with, and acted like one of the boys, we could avoid getting our ass beat, by one or more of the misogynistic, homophobic thugs, that every school always had, and unfortunately still does. But even that didn't guarantee our safety. I narrowly escaped several beatings myself in high school, but took quite a few in junior high.

Witness the recent rash of gay kids, that have taken their own lives, because of relentless harassment from homophobic bullies. Fifty years after I fought bullies on the sidewalks of Indianapolis on the way home from school each day, gay and transgender kids are having to put up with the same damn thing! Why......after all of these five decades, has nothing changed? Is there a God? I honesty don't know, but if there is, then God love them, and God love all of us as well, because we certainly need it!

Melissa XX

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Against All Odds, They Are All Home Safe!

I don't know how they did it! A woman on a message board I visit, said they would have to shoot her up with Valium, for her to be able to make the fifteen minute, 2,000 ft ride up through the 28" shaft to freedom. I don't think Valium would be strong enough for me. I think they would have had to resort to heroin!

I've spent the last 24 hours alternating between rejoicing and crying! The whole time all I could think about, was that one lone piece of lose rock in that 2,000 ft shaft, that would dislodge and jam up one of the wheels on the escape capsule, locking it in place a thousand feet below the surface. Thankfully that never happened. One thing is sure for those rescued . Relationships will certainly be reassessed, and choices will be made. My guess is that most relationships will be strengthened by this ordeal, at least that is my hope!

What was the most beautiful site out of all of this ordeal? An empty mine cavern!
Oh happy day!

Melissa XX

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Long Night Begins In Chile

Hurray! After more than two months trapped underground, the first of 33 miners has been brought to the surface! A fifteen to twenty minute trip, through over 2,000 feet of solid rock, in a 28" shaft! If that wouldn't give me a heart attack, I'm sure I would be stark raving mad from claustrophobia, by the time I reached the surface! I hope they get every one of those miner out, and then give them all an early retirement, with full benefits! They deserve it!

Melissa XX

Baracuda, Now & Then

Who ever listened to Ann & Nancy Wilson, and wondered how great these two female rockers really were? As I write, Magic Man is melodically flowing from my speakers, but hey! Wait! Here comes another, Crazy On You ! Oh dear! I am overwhelmed! Was there ever a more compelling female centered rock band than Heart?

Well, here is an attempt! The only cover I have ever heard of Barracuda, that even came close to Ann and Nancy Wilson and Heart, was Gretchen Wilson, singing with Alice in Chains.........and let me tell you dear readers,......they were really, really good! Just listen to this!

Now that you've heard Gretchen's version, listen carefully, and let's see what you think about Ann's original?

Melissa XX

Monday, October 11, 2010

Dvořák's 7th & 8th

Playing right now on my public radio station. Why in the world do those works make my eyes well up, whenever I hear them???? Could it be that they are just so beautiful, and that beauty is in such short supply in my life? Hmmmm. I've got to do some thinking about that one!

How do I put more beauty into my life? I'm not quite sure about that one. I listen to lots of lovely music, and it seems that no matter how much I listen to it, my senses are still stirred, and my eyes still well up. Perhaps it's something innate. A certain sensitivity to beauty?

I'm not saying that just because I'm trans, I have an abnormal sensitivity to beauty. Considering that many non trans folk have a similar sensitivity, that claim would be absurd. So what is it?

I have a clue. My dad, who has been deceased since 10/2000, when he was nearly 81, gave me an appreciation for good music. We never had great verbal communication, but Dad loved beautiful music, and made attempts to have me share it with him. He introduced me to Leonard Bernstein's Young People's concerts, and some very good 1950's Broadway Musicals. He also would take me for weekend rides in the car, with beautiful music playing on the radio. I think that was his way of bonding with me, and it worked! I secretly adored him! Oh, he was a stuffed shirt to be sure, and could be very stern at times, but there was an unspoken word between us, that gave me confidence in him. Unlike my more fickle and neurotic mother, I always knew he had my best interest at heart, even if he was completely wrong in a situation, which he and my mother more than often were.

Unfortunately, Dad's devotion didn't make a man out of me, not even when he was teaching me how to pitch a baseball. Oh, I learned how to throw the ball, and even became quite proficient at it. I earned a spot on my little league all star team, for striking out the side, three innings in a row! For those of you who aren't familiar with the game of baseball, that means that I stuck out all tree batters, for three inning in a row. That's nine batters that walked up to the plate, only to be retired by my pitches. It doesn't happen very often in the game of baseball, and I never came close to doing it again. Yet here as I sit, and listen to these wonderful strains, I can't help but think that Dad would love to be sitting quietly next to me, and listening to them too. Not conversing, mind you......just being next to me, and listening. What a sweet notion.

Melissa XX

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Autumn Begins

Inevitably, the seasons change. Here in the Piedmont, summer is reluctantly giving way to autumn. Right now, after a couple of weeks of cooler weather, we are experiencing Indian summer, with daytime highs in the low to mid 80's. Summer's last hurrah! What relief from the death grip, that summer had on us from May through August!

The picture above was taken of a small Dogwood in the woods out in front of the house today. Curiously, my Dogwoods never flowered this year, nor did they produce their typical red berries. Does anyone have a clue as to why? Shouldn't this be an annual event?

A trip to the grocery store today, revealed even more color emerging. Apparently some trees are just shameless exhibitionists! They can't even wait for the annual fall fashion show to begin, before they start their runway walk! A few of those shameless ladies were on full display today, with their extremities already in full blush, but most are still far too bashful to come out of the dressing room. In another week or two, their biology will take over, and they will be left with no choice but to submit to brazen displays, as well. I can't wait! We are about to enter the most beautiful time of year!

I'm sorry if I sounded a bit whiny a couple of posts ago. I've always been very sensitive, and sometimes I lose objectivity and take things a bit too personally, although in this particular instance I think I was on solid ground. That blog generated 24 comments, nearly all of which were in full support of me. I can't begin to tell you how uplifting that was! If I haven't thanked you personally for your comment, please accept my sincere thanks right here and now! After decades alone in the wilderness, it's so nice to have the support of others, and to be able to offer my support to all of you as well!

I posted another blog yesterday afternoon, concerning Blogger comment formatting. If you haven't read that blog yet, I urge you to. It may help you to allow more readers to leave comments on your blog. You can access that blog post here: Blogger's Comment Formatting Options - Please Read

We have another new citizen her in Blogistan ( I spelling that right?), and her name is Elizabeth. She is approximately my age, and transitioned in the early 70's, under the direct care of none other than Dr.Harry Benjamin! She has written some absolutely wonderful retrospective posts, detailing events in those early days. Her profile picture is an early one of her, right after transition, and she was absolutely gorgeous! After reading her posts, I've come to the conclusion that her her heart is as beautiful as the picture of her in her youth. I hope she saw my blog about resetting comment format settings, because she also has the default embedded comment box, and as much as I would love to say hello, I can't, until she reformats her comment settings to either the pop-up window, or separate comment page. At any rate, I urge you to check out her blog, Notes from the T side, and leave your comments if you can. And if you can, please link her to my blog about changing comment formatting, because I have no way of getting in touch with her, because she has no email address in her profile.

Today was epilation day. For the last few weeks, I had gotten lazy, and neglected my duties as High Priestess of the Church of the Immaculate Epilation, and had allowed myself to become uncharacteristically, and irreverently furry. It all got to be too much to for my conscience to bear, and I broke down in a fit of contrition, and spent the afternoon in penance. I can now testify that I am once again walking in the light, and I am completely fur free! Hallelujah!

Take care, loves!
Melissa XX

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Blogger's Comment Formatting Options - Please Read

I have discovered the reason........well, a reason anyway, why some people like myself cannot post comments on many people's blogs. The Blogger default setting for readers to post comments, is the embedded comment box. That's the format where a white comment box appears at the bottom of your post, and your readers simply type in their comment, and click on the button that says, Post Comment. Well, it turns out that many wireless internet services are incompatible with that format. If you are accessing the internet through a smart phone, or desk top computer, or lap top using a wireless USB modem, your ISP may not allow you to post on blogs with the embedded comment box.

If you have been wondering why only a few select people ever comment on your blog, it may be because you are using this default setting. Blogger has three options for comment formatting, the default, which I've just discussed, the pop-up comment window, and the separate page for comments. The latter two seem to work for everyone, while the default setting only works for some. You can easily change to the pop-up window, or separate page for comments, by going into you blog settings, accessing the comment tab, and checking off the selection you want.

I hope those of you who have the embedded comment box, will choose to switch to one of the other two formats. I enjoy reading so many of your blogs, and would love to leave my comments, but the embedded comment format you are using prevents me and others from doing that.

Thanks for having the patience to read this. Hopefully we can all open our blogs up, so that more people can fully participate in the discussions.

Melissa XX

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

There's Been A Great Disturbance In The Force........

........over this last week. Perhaps I'm responsible for igniting it, but in reality I think it was smoldering long before any post I ever made on the subject.

We, who have so much in common, have been in a war of words. A battle of personal perspectives, over how we self identify. I never realized what diverse passions our personal identity issues could invoke. I always assumed, that we would just naturally be an all inclusive group, regardless of our color in the spectrum of the gender rainbow.

Now, very sadly, I'm beginning to wonder. I guess I was just naive, thinking that I could be thought of as an equal, regardless of my life's uncontrollable circumstances, and yes indeed, regardless of what some who have never known me may think, they were circumstances out of my control.

Even though I suffered the same mishap in the womb as all of you, suddenly I feel somewhat alienated. Like I'm some kind of a second class transwoman, because I was unable to grab the brass ring. Sadly, this feeling of alienation comes not from the homo, or trans-phobic cretins that I normally expected it to come from, but from some of our own sisters, who for their own reasons, are unable, or unwilling to offer anything more than token sisterhood to us, unless we have followed them down to the very end their own personal path. Have they forgotten one of the basic laws of the universe...........that everything is relative?

I am deeply hurt over this, but for now I will say no more. I love all of you too much, so I will not be going anywhere. I know that some of you genuinely do care for all of us, even though you feel some of us are not quite in your league. I guess for now, that will just have to be good enough, because I'm not about to start shunning anyone. As I said, I love you all too much.

Melissa XX

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Shake It Baby Shake!

Around 4 o'clock this afternoon, I heard a low frequency rumbling sound, accompanied by a rattling of something metallic. Most likely the AC unit mounted in my metal window frame in the great room. It was brief, lasting much less than a minute.

I live about an eighth of a mile off I-64, and sometimes large 18 wheeler trucks will buffet the air as they speed on by, and the ensuing shock wave will vibrate my roof, creating a sort of mild bass drum effect. At first, I thought that was what I heard this afternoon, but then while watching the evening news, I heard that there was an earthquake centered in a nearby county today. I went on line to search for earthquake information, and found that it occurred at exactly the time I noticed the low frequency rumble and rattling. It was a mild quake, only a 3 on the Richter scale, but even though it was about 40 miles away, it was still noticeable. East coast earthquakes are not uncommon, but they are usually so mild, that they go unnoticed by most people. This is the first one that I have noticed. When I was still working, one occurred while I was driving home, but because I was in a moving vehicle, I never knew it happened, until I heard about it later on the news.

I'm sure that my west coast readers are laughing right now. They know what a real temblor is like. A 3 on the Richter scale is nothing compared to what they experience on a regular basis, but as is the case with all things in life, everything is relative.

Relevance......... something that sadly, is completely lost on some. I won't go into detail, for concern of generating the usual fear and loathing, but I think that some of you may know what I'm talking about.

Another cool night! It's 44°F outside right now. I've had a sweater on all day today. I love it! This is the first day since early last spring, that I have been able to shut all of the A/C units off. The house is strangely quiet! I'm sure I will have to turn a fan on tonight, just to be able to get some soothing white noise to lull me to sleep.

Melissa XX

Friday, October 1, 2010

I Think, Therefore I Am!

Can it be said any more plainly? And when I say that I am a woman, that is what I am, period! I am not what you would like to think I am, or what you would want me to be. I am me, a creature of my own imagination. Those who are emotionally mature enough and have respect for my autonomy as an individual, and my inherent right to be the person that I believe myself to be, will put aside their personal prejudices, and accept me for who and what I say I am, their conventions be damned! And those who refuse to? Well.......quite simply.......screw them! Who needs them?

I'm so sorry if I seem a little bit angry in this post. You all know what a gentle nature I normally have, but I'm getting more than a little sick and tired of a self-righteous, and self-imposed cis and transsexual hierarchy, dictating who is, and who is not a legitimate woman, or transsexual! As if anyone who does not conform to their personal idea of womanhood, is just a transvestite; a sad little man in a dress!

Obviously we can all benefit from observation of other women, and surely all of us who are TS have spent our entire lives doing just that, but as Renee so succinctly put it in a recent reply on T-Central, "there is no one way to do woman". What constitutes a woman, is so very subjective!

I grew up in a family with three women, my mother, my twin, and my older sister. While my twin had tastes and attitudes about femininity and womanhood that echoed my mother's, my older sister must have been a changeling, because her attitude and personal tastes, couldn't have been more different. My tastes and attitudes are nothing like my mother's either. With all due respect to my mother and my twin, I found their vision of what constitutes a female to be quite childish, but then they were both spoiled little girls as children, and I think that stunted their growth, and forever colored their attitude about womanhood. Well....that was their life, and I suppose that was OK for them, but it's not for me. I'm different.

As Popeye says. "I yam what I yam!"
Don't like it? Then leave me alone, and keep your opinions to yourself. It's hard enough to deal with realizing that you were dealt one of the crummier hands that life can give you, without having to endure the denigrating assaults of self-righteous sisters.

Here is the bottom line. I am who I want to be. I don't care if that is not your idea of what a woman should be. I graciously accept you for who you say you are, please give me the same courtesy!

Well that's my rant, and it's over now! On to much more important things!

We here in Central Virginia have been faced with a summer's long drought. The reservoirs are at their lowest point in years, and the abundant rain over the last few days, will help, but it's not been nearly enough to make up for the deficit. So, in the interest of water conservation, a humorous quote I once heard my older sister refer to comes to mind. When considering flushing three gallons of fresh water down the toilet, think of this line: "If it's yellow, let it mellow! If it's brown, flush it down!" Sounds good to me, unless you have guests coming for dinner, in which case you better flush the yellow stuff too!

I can't believe it! I looked up at the outside temperature reading in the upper right hand margin of my I-Mac, and it said 48°F at midnight! Do you have any idea how long it's been since we have experienced temperatures in the 40's? It seems like forever! I walked out onto the deck, just to make sure it was true, and it was! The cool air kissed my bare skin, and the stars above shown through the clear night sky so beautifully! I just loved it! I'm so glad that cooler weather is on it's way!

Thinking of all of you,
Melissa XOXO

P.S.Thank You Dad for taking me along with you when I was in high school, for long weekend drives around Germany, while listening to classical music on AFN! (Armed Forces Network). Of course you now know what a profound effect those drives had on me! I'll never forget them!

Oh! And in case you were wondering, tonight's post was composed while listening to Gustav Mahler's Symphny No 1, and No 2! You don't deserve anything less!