Pink Floyd is once again my inspiration, but with tonights defeat, the feeling is somewhat different. A bit more somber, as if all of my euphoria over the last few weeks has drained out of me, and I'm once again the one bricked up behind the wall. Try as I may to break that wall down, sooner or later, it always seems to reappear. Now, once again, here I am completely isolated in my own little world. I will live with it. I always have. That is the one constant in my life. A life of compassion and empathy for others, but nevertheless physically isolated from everyone else, simply because close social interactions are just too painful to bare. After all, how does one comfortably relate socially to cis folk, when one feels like a butterfly trying desperately to burst the seams of her cocoon, but never quite able to get out?
Enough of this dark moody stuff! I can't overcome it, so I will have to do as I've always done, and just find a way to learn to live with it. And there you have it. No suicide attempts, half hearted or otherwise. Just a long dull semi-depressive life of coping with the inevitable, punctuated with brief moments of euphoria, coupled to the thrills and adventure of others. A sad life, isn't it?
And speaking of Pink Floyd, here is an interesting critique, albeit a bit dated, and the the video link has unfortunately been disabled by those owning the rights to the music.
Here's the original.
As always, I love you all!