Lord Of The Flies

They're baaaaack! Those damnable zuzu flies! Hoards of them.........flying around the house............lighting on my sandwiches............buzzing my face when I eat..............crawling all over my toilets, then walking on the rim of my wine glass..............little bugs from hell...........irritating me...........harassing me...........vexing me, in an attempt to drive me insane!

Such are the hazards of country life. You give up the human annoyances of the city, and trade them for the vermin of the country! Raccoons opening up my trash cans, and scattering their contents all over the yard, field mice inviting themselves in for bed and breakfast, wasps making nests within finger reach, under the hand rails of the deck stairs, and those flies.................those damned infernal flies!

I don't know what it is about this time of year. In my last blog, I wrote about the spiders going nuts, with their web weaving, but this time of year also marks the annual invasion of my home, by hundreds of little fruit flies. I call then fruit flies, for lack of an accurate name for them. Little gnat sized creatures, unequaled in both their tenacity, and their obnoxiousness. Swat them, and they quickly take flight, only to return in an instant. If you are quick enough, you can reach out and catch one with a swift hand clap! It's so satisfying to see their lifeless carcass, lying still in the palm of you hand!

Decades ago, when I was in the Army, the Shell Oil Co. came out with a yellow plastic strip, that you could hang from above, and it would emit deadly insect killing pyrethrums into the air. They worked wonderfully! Insects on the wing, literally dropped like flies! They worked so wonderfully in fact, that the large kettles of tea and cool aid in our mess hall, often had dead flies floating in them. Hapless victims, forced from the sky, by the deadly pyrethral miasma.

Well!.........I thought! If they worked in the old Army mess hall, then surely they would work in my kitchen. In fact I did use them for years in my kitchen, then suddenly they seemed to disappear. A couple of years ago, I found some in the insecticide section of a Food Lion ( an American chain grocery store). Without reading the labels, I scarfed up on three or four of them. Alas! My fly problem would be solved!

When I got home, I couldn't wait to peel their foil wrappers and hang them about the house. But first I thought, let's read the warning labels, just to be on the safe side. Here is what they said:

Precautionary Statements: Hazards to human and domestic animals - CAUTION: Do not get in mouth (duh?) . Harmful if swallowed (duh? again!). After prolonged storage, a small amount of liquid may form on strip. Do not get liquid in eyes (duh? once more!). Wash hands thoroughly with soap and water after handling strip. (And now it gets scary!) Do not use in hospital, or clinic rooms, such as patient rooms, wards, nurseries, operating or emergency areas. Do not use in any rooms or closets of rooms where infants, children and the sick or the aged are or will be present for any extended period of confinement. Do not use in kitchens (except cupboards?), restaurants or areas where food is prepared or served. Do not use in any area of the home, where people will be present for extended periods of time. And last but not least: Not to be taken internally by humans, or animals! (double duh!)

After reading those dire warnings, I decided that flies crawling around on the rim of my toilets, then taking a leisurely stroll on rim of my wine glass, was a small price to pay for the privacy of my 4.5 acre wooded country lot!

Love to all,
Melissa (Mistress of the Flies)