Thursday, April 22, 2010


I was just reminiscing about when I weighed only 170 lbs. That's 12.4 stone to my UK friends. That may seem heavy to some of you, but for someone who is 5'14" tall, that's pretty thin. It's been ages since I was that weight, and since then my weight nearly doubled at one time. Yes, I'm ashamed to say I ballooned up to 304 lbs.! Direct suicide is not always the result of not being able to resolve gender identity issues. My complete lack of resources and inability to transition in my early years, or to even connect with any other transgendered people, instead lead to a total sense of dissolution, that eventually almost killed me. In 2004 after several episodes of nearly passing out at work, I was diagnosed with type II diabetes, and knew that I had to make some changes, or I would be found dead at my desk one day. I began a regular exercise program, radically altered my diet to reduce saturated fats, simple carbohtdrates, and excess salt. The result was I lost 80 lbs., and brought my diabetes and blood pressure under control, without having to stay on the dangerous drugs that were prescribed to me. I've done pretty well ever since, but two years after retiring, I found that I had slacked off a good deal on the exercise, and had let my weight gradually rise to where my clothes were fitting very tight. I resisted the urge to buy larger sizes again, and redoubled my efforts on portion control and exercise. I've been making steady progress, and today I was pleasantly surprised that a pair of white denim capris that fit so well last summer, were a pretty good fit today! I still have a bit of a roll above the waistband that needs to go, but they looked especially good in the butt and the thighs! An hour a day on the stationary bike, can literally be a pain in the ass, but it really does make a difference when you stick to it.

And speaking of reminiscing:

I know I'm showing my age, but does anyone else remember sweating and grinding on a dance floor to this number? Written by Otis Redding and Jerry Butler, it appeared as the A-side of a 1965 hit single by Otis Redding - and subsequently appeared on his third album, Otis Blue: Otis Redding Sings Soul. (Links courtesy of Wikipedia)

Melissa XX


Amy K. said...

That's all I need is to bawl my eyes out. Thanks a lot, Melissa! (Just kidding, hehe... it's an awesome song... and a real tearjerker. I got a bit misty-eyed but I'm okay, LOL!)

Stace said...

Pushing yourself to keep to the routine is the hardest thing to do I think. Miss one day and the next is soo much easier to also miss - and then it snowballs.

But the sense of acheivement when you try on the clothes and see the fit is fantastic.

Well done,

Sophie said...

lol, I would be happy right now to kick the exercise level down right now to "just" an hour on a bike! Cleaning out my attic is about killing me. I have no idea how all of those boxes ever made it UP to the attic in the first place, I just know that getting them all back DOWN is wearing me out.

And I have no intention of showing my age, it is sheer coincidence that I happen to have a lot of oldies music, but if you like the version of Otis' song from Otis Blue you ought to listen to the live one. I have it from the '67 Monterey Pop Festival and it is simply incredible.

caroline said...

By the time I caught up with him he was dead. A friend had an LP with him on one side and Jimi Hendrix on the other! Sure it was live at Monterey. Sitting on the dock of the bay is my favourite.

All my muscles have migrated to my waist as fat! I70 would be nice.

I can't afford to get fat or thin unless I live on a naturist beach, can't afford any new clothes!

Caroline xxx

Jenny.J said...

Must be such a lovely feeling!
Strong will power, keep it up

Jen xxx

Calie said...

I so relate to this post, Melissa. Been there, done that, got rid of the fat tee's.

Congrats on losing all of the weight in the past and get back down to that 170!

Calie xxx