Thursday, September 10, 2009

Confidence.......At A Distance.


As I promised myself I would, I made another trip to the recycling center today as Melissa. Wearing white capris, a sleeveless black kit top, and a pair of black patent, buckle loafers, I loaded the truck with a bag full of catalogs and magazines, some more broken down cardboard boxes, and a few bags of household trash. Back in the house, I threw my cell phone into a black leather bag, slung it over my shoulder and headed back out to the truck for the drive to the recycling center.

It was fairly late by the time I took off, sometime between 4:30 and 5:00 in the afternoon. The two gas station/convenience stores a couple of miles down the road, were alive with customers as I drove passed, and made the right turn down the road to the recycling center. It was overcast, yet still a lovely day. Fall is just starting to ease its way into the mid-Atlantic piedmont, and the weak woods were already starting to turn shades of red and yellow. The temperature, in a welcome relief from the summer heat, was hovering in the upper sixties or lower seventies, depending on what source you were relying on. My computer said the local temp. was 72∘when I left the house, but the digital thermometer on the console in my truck, said 68∘. The recycling center is about four miles past the turn off, on a narrow two lane road, that winds its way through rolling hills, past a couple of ponds, and through some very beautiful farmland. The drive is always pleasant.

When I got there, the recycling center appeared to be empty, but I knew it wasn't. It never is. There are always a couple of attendants there, to keep the place in order. They do an excellent job too. For what is essentially a garbage dump, they always keep the place very clean and tidy. They have a small frame shed, that serves as an office, and they were both inside when I pulled in and parked in front of the recyling dumpsters.

I got out and started sorting magazines and catalogs , from cardboard, and depositing them in their appropriate dumpsters. This time I made sure not to forget the pile of old news papers, I left on the seat the week before. As I was doing this, one of the attendants emerged from the shed, sat in a chair out front, and lit up a cigarette. I was the only show in town, so I'm sure he noticed me. After unloading the papers and cardboard, I got back in the truck and drove over to the garbage dumpster. I parked in front of it, and got out to throw my garbage bags off the dock, into the dumpster. While doing this, the second attendant emerge from the shed, and sat down next to his partner, facing me. I was directly in front of them, about thirty yards away.

It was perfect. Both of them looked at me for about a second or two, and then resumed their conversation, as if nothing appeared to be out of the ordinary. As far as they were concerned, I was just another female county resident, using the facility. They didn't even bother to give me a second look, as I drove within fifteen feet of them, on the way out. That's just the reaction I had hoped for. I don't want to stand out, I just want to blend in.

9 comments:

Amy K. said...

You're doing just fine. Sending smiles your way! :)

Lucy Melford said...

These little outings are gradually going to boost your confidence to stratospheric levels! Oh, well done.

This was indeed a stiffer test than a visit to a packed supermarket, where everyone's preoccupied with shopping and managing kids, or, if they're on the checkout, thinking about their next break as they deal with your purchases in a sort of trance. The focus of those men was on you alone, and they might have come over if their curiosity had been aroused in the slightest. But they didn't. So your behavior must have been completely natural!

Incidentally I do like your descriptions of the Virginia countryside. Do you have any pictures of the red and yellow leaves on the trees?

Lucy

Leslie Ann said...

I think it's great that you are getting so much benefit from trips to the dump. Maybe we should all try it!

Suzi said...

Sounds great! Now, next time, think up some question you need to ask, stop by the shed, and go "yoohoo.." Then when you leave, give them a petite femme wave and a smile. :)Suzi

Melissa said...

@ Amy K
Smiling back at you!

@ Lucy Melford

I don't know Lucy. I would think a trip to the grocery store would be much more intimidating. My fear is close encounters, since I haven't had laser or electrolysis, other than on the lower portion of my neck. My pictures don't show it, but from my nose up, I look convincingly female. From my upper lip down, it's another story. Although most of my facial hair has turned white, and is virtually invisible when I shave, there is still a significant amount of dark hair on my upper lip and chin, and even some on my cheeks, that leaves a shadow. An opaque foundation helps tremendously, especially under diffused light, but up close in bright light, the dark hair is still detectable.

I'm sorry, I don't have any pictures of the countryside. I hope to soon. I just purchased my first digital camera from WalMart, but I still have to learn how to use it. I was impatient, and thought I could operate it without first watching the DVD that came with it. I thought all I would have to do is insert the memory card and shoot, but, when I tried that, it allowed me to take just one picture, and then said the memory card was full, and wouldn't allow me to take anymore.

@ Leslie Ann,

LOL! The great thing about the dump, is that it lets me get out of the truck, and spend some time walking back and forth, from the truck to the various recycling dumpsters, usually in the presence of casual onlookers. That gives me a chance to practice my feminine comportment. The key is to display a feminine demeanor, that looks natural, not affected.

@ Suzi

Re: ....stop by the shed, and go "yoohoo.." Then when you leave, give them a petite femme wave and a smile.

Go "yoohoo"? You really want me to push my luck, don't you girl? LOL!

Melissa XX

Naukishtae said...

LUCK! I am not buying the ear mite story.. If you had not come out in this blog.. no one, and I mean No One would have thought you anything except an exquisitly beautiful Woman.. That's who you are.. you know the Goddess makes mistakes too, and some times we get trapped in the wrong skin.. luckily, some like yourself have the courage to say Enough! I am going to be who I am.. I think you very brave.. I am not.. but be blessed little sister, and don't give up. I am a two spirit, two identities with in one body.. I have not your courage.. Be Blessed

Lucy Melford said...

What camera is it exactly?

Nowadays they are SO foolproof you shouldn't have the slightest problem with shooting. Transferring the shots to your PC and 'doing' things with them is another story, but even so, it's a lot less difficult than applying makeup skilfully. I hope you can get the thing working properly, because I'd love to see some nice pictures of your local area!

Taking pictures is a respectable outdoor activity that makes you look 'busy' and 'purposeful', and therefore 'OK' in peoples' perceptions, provided you do it in touristy places and beauty spots and other similar places where cameras are appropriate. The trick is to have a plain ordinary little camera that won't attract attention from photo freaks, and is simple enough that you can use it smoothly and without hesitation - otherwise some guy will offer to help you, and you don't want THAT! Also have a definite subject in mind - a lake scene, flowers, fallen leaves, easy wildlife like squirrels, or the old classic, a nice sunset. Take plenty, it costs nothing. Then you'll get engrossed in the shooting and composition, and hopefully forget those worrying thoughts about what other peole may be thinking!

Good luck!

Lucy

Melissa said...

@ Lucy

It's a Vivitar ViviCam 8025

2.4" HD touch screen, 8.1 mega pixels(all of which, I haven't a clue).

The last time I operated anything other than a disposable Kodak camera, was 39 years ago, when I had a Petri 35mm SLR, I used to take pictures with, while I was a soldier in Vietnam. That camera is long gone.

BTW. I enjoyed looking at your Flicker pics from Italy and Spain. I made it to Venice when I lived in Europe in the mid sixties, but when my parents decided to go to Florence, they left us kids at the resort we were staying at on the Adriatic, in Lignano

Melissa XX

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lignano_Sabbiadoro.

Melissa XX

Melissa said...

@ Naukishtae

Thank you so much for your kind words! There's nothing like a complement, to brighten one's day!:-)

Melissa XX