Saturday, July 31, 2010

Nothing But Us Girls Last Monday

I was so glad that it was just my sister, niece, mother and me at dinner last Monday. I have no idea where by brother-in-law went off to, but it really was nice not having him there for a change. He has such an "in your face" presence, that it's just nice to get a break from him. When he's there, he talks about himself incessantly, and completely dominates the conversation. Guy's like him can be so clueless. Everyone in the room, can be sending out signals, that any fool should be able to pick up on, that no one is interested in their lame jokes, and man stories, but do you think he ever picks up on it? Nope! Not at all! Just as clueless as a halfwit!

Of course as females, we simply sit there and try to humor him, because although telling him to simply STFU! would be so very satisfying, it wouldn't be very ladylike! When it comes to dealing with the consummate male boor, being female, means being long-suffering!

Men! Is it any wonder that we have such a hard time relating to those, whom we share a commonality of chromosomes with? At some time in the womb, we had to have been touched by a divine hand, saving us from a life of cluelesness! So sad that it takes so many of us so long to embrace that blessing, and come to terms with it.

I went to the grocery store today. The temperature was down into the 80's after many days of upper 90's, and quite a few days of over 100 this month. In fact we have set a new record so far this summer, with 10 days so far over 100°F/37.77°C. I was feeling very lazy today, so I got a way too late start, and didn't get showered and off to the store, until the after work crowd got there, so I spent my time in the store dodging errant shopper's and their meandering carts.

With all of my groceries packed into 59 tiny little white plastic bags, I made my way out into the paring lot. Of course I'm being facetious when I say 59 bags, but twenty nine was not far off the mark! And of course I had to completely repack always! Five very beautiful vine-ripe tomatoes, buried under a bag full of heavier items, and a bag with two loaves of fresh bread, half buried as well! Where do they get these grocery clerks from? Is common sense no longer an innate human quality?

Back at home, with all groceries put away, a lovely supper was made, of fresh mixed greens, carrots, broccoli, cucumbers, and tomatoes (luckily salvage before they were crushed), with Italian dressing, lasagna, and some Burgundy!

All is good, here in the Virginia Piedmont!

And now, picture yourself in a cozy little Italian restaurant in New Jersey. Tony Soprano, Silvio Dante and Paulie Walnuts walk in, and sit down at the table next to you. Suddenly, Jerry Vale comes on the juke box. You take it all in, and simply wish that at least for that brief moment, you too were Italian!

Melissa XX


Caroline said...

That's what the interview process is for!

"Are you a clueless imbecile with no idea what fruit and vegetables are?"

"But of course".

"Then you get to be IN CHARGE of fresh produce"

I asked one of these fools what kind of training they had been given so that I could complain with authority and he told me none! When they called over the department manager to face my complaint guess who arrived!

I often leave the store without anything!!!!!!!

On a lighter note you wish you were an Italian girl so that you could dress with casual but perfect style while riding you Vespa round town with abandon and ease while all the time your perfect skin would glow with an inbuilt olive hue. Thats what I think you mean.

Caroline xxx

Jenny said...

Careful Caroline, you know what happens to Italian women when they pass 40...

Here in the Socialist Utopia we get to pack our own shopping. I'm thus obsessive about lining it up on the belt in the right order for bagging.

Your meal has me envious.

Caroline said...

When they pass 40 they devote their lives to doing their son's washing and cooking?

Spot on Jenny, there lies the art of supermarket shopping.

Melissa, I thought you lived alone deep in the woods, is that a once every two months shop?

Caroline xxx

Melissa said...

@ Jenny

I prefer the self-checkout lanes, but the store I went to doesn't have any. I try to place things on the belt in order of how I want them packed too, but with the laser scanners, the checkout clerk can run them through so fast that everything just piles up together at the end of the belt, and the clueless person packing them, just starts randomly grabbing items and throwing them into bags.

@ Caroline

I wish it was just once every two months, but my pantry isn't big enough to store two months worth of consumables, so I go once a week.

Melissa XX

Two Auntees said...

The dinner with the girls sounds wonderfully pleasant for once.

As for those jerks who have no idea how to bag groceries, you could talk to the manager or just watch and tell him how to pack.

Peace, Sarah

Melissa said...

@ Two Auntees

My experience with talking to managers, is that they tend to let your comments go in one ear and out the other. I could give instructions to the kid doing the packing, but I'd just have to do it all over again the next time. The problem is the switch to small shapeless plastic bags several decades go, destroyed the art of efficient grocery packing. Being an Army brat, I used to pack groceries in the commissary when I was a kid, and I learned how to do it properly in brown paper bags. One of the Food Lion's I go to has self-checkout lanes, and when I go there, I always use them, so I can pack my own groceries in paper bags, but that store is ten miles farther down the road, and I was in a hurry yesterday, because of the late start I got.

So glad to here you enjoyed Joan Baez!

Melissa XX

Veronica said...

Does your brother-in-law require an audience? Perhaps he's able to go on even if no one is listening, in which case ignoring him unless he stops talking shite wouldn't work. My late beau-père needed someone to play his games, so I learned to defuse that by not playing. I actually broke him a bit, at least around me.

Twenty-nine bags? Yoiks! Two solutions, not mutually exclusive: cloth bags -- some even have shape like paper bags -- and packing your own stuff. I didn't even know grocery stores paid packers any more! We do most of our shopping at a food co-op, and we pack our own, although sometimes the cashier will help if there's a lot. I'm glad the regular grocery stores we go to for a few items have self-service checkouts now.

Stace said...

Here in Holland we also have to do our own bags, not too much of an issue as I usually make sure that thebelt is loaded in the right order so that as the cashier throws the food down the second belt the heavier stuff comes first, so as not to land on the soft strawberries... I find a huge difference between cashiers too. Some are thoughful people who take note of the situation, turn the belt off when eneded and make sure that soft squishy stuff is gently places to one side, others are zombies who carry on regardless. I have actually asked for beer to be replaced on a few occasions as I buy live Belgian beer that is not supposed to be shook up too much and it just got slung down the belt - and went instantly cloudy - meaning it needed a couple of days to settle again before I could drink it, not useful when I was buying it for that night. You get interesting looks when asking for beer to be replaced.

I was amazed this year in the UK that there are so many places offering the packing service. And that either some people in Leicester are now exceptionally lazy, or the staff have given up using their brains. My shoping list was for lunch in the car the next day whilst driving to Scotland (had the same when going back to Holland as well):

1 small loaf
1 pack of Wilthsire ham
1 pack of Gouda slices

The first questions I was asked: 'Would you like help packing that?' :) I had to repress the laugh and just smiled say 'I think I can manage, thankyou.'


PS Glad you got a chance to enjoy your meal with your family!