Thursday, January 27, 2011

I Was Going To Talk About Another Nor'easter Riding Up The Atlantic Coast.......

..........but then I realized you had all had your fill of such boring tripe. Significant to me, but not so much to you. So......what shall we discuss? Well, how about the fact that I haven't bought a single thread of female clothing in six months.......except for the three tops I bought last week *grin*? I was shopping out of control for a while, and stuff was piling up everywhere. I just had to get a handle on it. I can't possibly wear everything I find attractive. I had to come to grips with that, since I was running out of space to store everything. My latest purchase was actually some men's clothing, as I have gained a significant amount of weight, (something that I am not proud of), and my male clothing has become..........well.........let's just say, kind of tight.

It's all my fault. I plead guilty, to being a lazy, procrastinating sloven. But with no social life, why should I care? I live 50 miles out in the wilderness, so I have no one to please but myself. It's peaceful out here, but it's also lonely. Lonely isn't necessarily bad though. When you have lived in town, and felt very oppressed by the social construct that separates male from female, isolation out in the wilderness isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's actually more like a refuge.

I've been very depressed with the nose dive that our discussions have taken in the last six or seven months, and I'm sure my blogs have reflected it. We have gone from being a sweet group of like minded individuals, to a divisive group of she wolves. All of this negativity was introduced by a single obsessed and prolific narcissistic malcontent last summer. Narcissists are very hard to deal with, because they are so good at rationalizing, and presenting themselves to the unwitting, as something that they are not. They are skilled at turning the tables against their indictors, and making it seem that the charges levied against them, are the offenses of their accusers. Our chief antagonist is such an entity. She will never admit to her transgressions, she is way too self-righteous for that, and will always attempt to place the blame on any who call her out. But then she has no other recourse, because she is after all, a self-appointed Empress, with no clothes.

Now, on a lighter note:

Melissa XX


Caroline said...

So that's why you have not put up a new picture for so long! You need more snow for a little exercise but really as you know comfort eating is an oxymoron! It only causes discomfort.

Clearly you have two choices. Calorie control or more Lycra!

I am pruning a few of the places I visit to restore some sanity to netlife.

Caroline xxx

Stephanie said...

When I came back to blogland after my hiatus last year, I couldn't believe how the demeanor of our little community had changed. I had to back track in my blog reading to understand what had happened. When I realized where the negative bickering was coming from, I made it a point to stop reading those blogs. I just don't need that in my life.

A few years ago, the meteorologists where saying that global warming would cause both more and more intense storms. I believe they were right.


Anonymous said...

But Melissa, we were never all like-minded. How could any group of human beings be so? Discussion, sometimes of controversial topics, has been going on since I've been paying attention, which goes back to 2007. I've been stirring the pot all along, not just for the sake of stirring it, but because I've had serious questions along the road of my transition.

The most significant change was probably that T-Central grew very quickly and the links became quite diverse, more so than they had been. Lori did a great job getting that site going, but Calie had ambitions to make it an even bigger clearinghouse for trans-related blogs and material. I think she's done a wonderful job, especially with the series of guest posts but also just with finding interesting blogs to highlight.

Those of us who administer T-Central have had discussions about whether certain blogs should be listed. In the end, while we wanted to made sure we weren't promoting hate speech, we also wanted to err on the side of allowing our readers to decide for themselves which links to follow. There are a lot of blogs out there. Some of them a pretty controversial, but they all add to the mosaic.

A large, diverse space is not necessarily a safe space. People have to decide for themselves how much safety they want and need, and take steps to ensure it if they want or need more.

Lucy Melford said...

I'm intrigued to know who this person is who has caused all the upset! I must be poor on perception, or just so armour-plated that I just don't feel the knife thrusts!

I did wonder about the wisdom of publishing my series of 'Accusations' last September. They were meant to be pre-op therapy for myself, totally personal, but also an answer to the critics in my own life - non-trans people - who read my blog even though it appalled them. The 'Accusations' weren't supposed to be a provocation to the trans community at large, but who knows who I offended. They were valuable to me; I still go back and read them through, from start to finish, to see whether my thinking at the time held together, and to see whether I'm modified my own views as I've gone forward. (I certainly expect to: you can never hope to 'know it all', nor remain unchanged by further experience)

Within the limits of good taste and good manners, and provided personal attacks are avoided, I do think that argumentative and over-assertive bloggers should be allowed to have their say. After all, if you don't like what you read, or their style, ignore them!


Calie said...

Ariel has a good point. If we listed only the blogs I liked, Ariel and the others could very possibly tar and feather me (gosh, does that sound kinky? Not the intent, lol).

I'm probably the most "anything goes" person in the group and the others do have to restrain me once in a while.

What it comes down to, Melissa, is that you own this space and anyone who violates your space should be persona-non-grata.

There are blogs out there that I would prefer not to read. Nevertheless, you will see me listed as a follower simply because I like to monitor the content to insure that the content falls within our standards for blog listings on T-Central....which are fairly broad.

But, from a personal standpoint, I hear what you're saying, girl.

Calie xxx