Sunday, December 13, 2009

I Spoke Last Night Of Coming Out On A Message Board

It's just a general discussion board. I've been posting there for about four, or five years now. With the exception of only a couple of selected people, none of them ever knew my secret............not until last night, that is.

I couldn't be happier with the response I received! Not one of the people who replied to my post, both men and women, had the slightest problem with me being trans, and some even complemented me on my courage to reveal this secret about myself. I can't tell you you how encouraging this is to me! Either people in general have come a long way towards acceptance of us, or once people have had enough time to internalize us as a fellow human beings, they simply have more compassion for us. I don't which is true, but whichever it is, I am truly thankful!

It is just so nice to be able to post my real picture, and openly express my emotions along with the other women on the board.

Taking one small step at a time, and having no regrets.

Melissa XX


caroline said...

That fear of fear thing. We spend so much energy and time wondering and worrying and when that think whatever it is happens the world carries on as normal. then we curse ourselves for being so stupid and do it all again!

So glad it all worked out and WE do not have to feel guilty anymore.

Caroline xxx

Lucy Melford said...

It still took courage. There was a risk you'd be flamed. But...if not now, then when?

I'm so glad this was actually a positive experience!


Calie said...

Well, those on the discussion board must be very open minded.

Congratulations, Melissa! You're on your way!!

Calie xxx

Anonymous said...

Hi Melissa
I am also so pleased for you that the response was totally positive.

I also hope you feel more affirmed and your confidence continues to grow with each step you take.

I'm saddened to say I didn't have that experience myself, I only wish I had.

Some months ago I confided with a very old friend that I had met someone who I said I liked very much and who I was getting to know and they were 'transgender'. I thought this might be a way to test the waters so see if one day I might be able to tell my friend the truth about myself. I got quite a shock! She reacted in a such a volatile way to me that it was quite scary. I have always trusted my discernment concerning people and was not prepared for her sudden change of behaviour. This reaction was out of character, and I felt it was also extreme. She was trying to warn me and protect me in a way that made me feel I was befriending someone who was dirty or perverted. I came away a shaken by her response and very, very hurt. I had really hoped this might have been a small step for me that day but it made me crawl very much back into the safety of my hidden life as well as make me realise I had lost a very big part of my relationship with my old friend.

I think (for me) I had read so much positive writing on the internet that I felt talking about it to my friend might be just as positive, I feel (again I'm only speaking for my own social group, please understand)that there is still a gap between what is posted on the internet and what people say and how they feel in public.
I hope along with everyone else that this will change.

Please Melissa, I do not want to you to think I am writing all this to dampen your spirits, or bring you down after such a really wonderful step forward you have made. I would feel bad if you felt that way. I am just sharing out of my happiness for you and my joy for the friends on your discussion board that you have made and my own wish that one day everyone might be able to say their experiences of sharing were as positive and uplifting as yours has been. I am really so happy for you.

I also hope my experience is in the minority. I wonder if I should delete all the above now,(aarrghh)...I'm not wanting to come across as a kill joy! Please know that?

Have a great week.
I admire you very much. (Hug)

Melissa said...

@ Helen

Thank you for sharing that Helen. Unfortunately everyone is not so open minded. At least you learned something about the character and intelligence of your "old friend", but acceptance of people who are transgender is a process of personal evolution. Hopefully after gaining a little more knowledge on the subject, her attitude will change. The problem is, most people do not get enough exposure to trans people to see what we are truly like, so all they have to go on are their fears and myths.

Not everybody on that message board replied to my post. Based upon things some have said in the past, there are some who I know would not approve, they just haven't said anything.

Melissa XX