Wednesday, December 23, 2009

I'm Experiencing Such A Beautiful Glow Right Now!

Perhaps it's the Merlot, or the fact that Christmas is just a little over a day away. Maybe it's the the brand new flats I ordered on line that fit so well, and make my feet look so pretty! It could be the realization that my right rear tire wasn't damaged by my snow shovel after all! Then again, it might be the smoothness of my freshly epilated, and completely hairless body, or it might even be the absolutely lovely Christmas coral music being played on my public radio station at this very moment, but whatever it is, I feel so beautiful, that I almost want to cry!

I had been feeling kind of dead lately. I guess we all go through our spells. I was having a hard time feeling like girl. It was horrible! Almost like he had taken back over again. Then I took my truck to the garage today, to have the oil changed, and the tires checked out. Upon entering the place, I was immediately confronted by a huddle of men, and instantly the girl came back! There is nothing like a garage full of men, to make you realize how fundamentally different you are from them. Thank God for those beautiful, coarse men! When I worked around men like that all of the time, I hated being around them, because I wasn't free to be myself. They were a constant reminder of how different I was from them, and it made me paranoid. But now that I am retired, and living on my own, and can live virtually 24/7 as my true self, I find that I actually need that occasional contrast to keep the realization of who I really am alive. Whatever it is that is making me feel so good, I am truly thankful for it, and I wish that joy could be visited upon all of you!

In another half hour, it will be Christmas Eve! God love each and every one of you!

Melissa XX


caroline said...

I am trying to put the past behind me again but memories will just pop up. My tyre factory job gave me free reign throughout the factory to monitor production and anticipate problems. I felt like a lamb amongst these hundreds of wolves with only a handful of gentle souls to keep me sane. This has intensified my loathing of most masculine males especially en-mass. To be thought to be one of them had me depressed for decades. I don't have to see one to remind me that I have never been one of them, this has given me that shuddery feeling up the spine!

Even so I am glad that you got the opposite feeling meeting your pack of, I was going to say brutes, but I know some garage mechanics who are not!

Will you be getting your oil changed more regularly now?

Caroline XXX

Anonymous said...

God bless you to Melissa.
Have a great one.

Melissa said...

@ Caroline

Oh, please don't get me wrong. While the guy behind the counter is fairly amiable, I wouldn't want to hang out with those males, any more than you would. In fact, I usually feel acute discomfort when around those types. It was just that they provided me with a stark contrast, at a time when I sort of lost my sense of self. While waiting for my oil to be changed, I grabbed a copy of Smithsonian, shrunk down into a chair, and tried my very best to become invisible. They are a very convenient place to go for service, and unlike so many places today, they will do what you need to have done right away, instead of telling you to bring your vehicle in at 7:00 AM, leave it with them, and pick it up late in the day. That's a good thing for me, because it's a four mile round trip walk down a highway with absolutely no shoulders to safely walk on. Yesterday I was in and out in less than 45 minutes. I'll have to take it back next month, for the annual state inspection, then again six months from now, for another oil change.

Melissa XX