Wednesday, May 26, 2010

I Hate Wasps!

I know.....hate is a pretty strong word, but before you go thinking that I hate white Anglo Saxon protestants, let me reassure you that I am one of them, albeit with a bit of Slavic blood coursing through my veins, thanks to my mother's Polish father. No......I'm talking about the flying, and stinging kind of wasp here.

This evening I decided to go out onto the deck for a few minutes, to enjoy the nicest, most peaceful part of the day. I opened the back door, and immediately heard a buzzing noise about my head. Closing the door behind me, I walked out onto the deck, thinking it must have been a fly. But when I turned around, I saw two brown wasps, building a nest in the top of the doorjamb. They weren't very crazy about the fact that I had just disturbed the construction of their nursery either, and started to buzz about me! Now...I have been sting by brown wasps on several occasions, and I never want it to happen again, so I retreated to the far recesses of the deck, and that seemed to placate them to such a degree, that they resumed their work on the nest. But there was still a problem. I was standing at the far end of my deck, being held a virtual hostage by these two little winged thugs. I had to get back into the house, but in order to do so, I had to run their gauntlet. I was scared. I mean theses little buggers really hurt when they sink their little hot acid stingers into your flesh, and it doesn't just hurt for a few minutes, it hurts for hours, and remains uncomfortable for days afterward.

So......what to do? They didn't appear to be inclined to leave any time soon, so running their gauntlet was my only option. I took a deep breath, and ran for the door, bracing for the inevitable painful sting, but suddenly I found myself inside and stingless! I slammed the door shut, and with my heart racing, I contemplated my next move. I could not allow these dangerous little interlopers to use my doorway, as a hymenopteran breeding ground. Something had to be done, and the sooner the better.

Suddenly.....with broom in hand, I swung the door open, and began to beat the wasps away, then I attempted to knock down their paper nest, before they could collect their senses and mount their counter attack. The first three swings at the nest proved fruitless, and I had to take a few additional swings at the counterattacking wasps. Now my adrenalin was really pumping! Finally the the fourth swing knocked the nest down, and I managed to slam the door shut just before the angry bees were able to pursue me inside!

Fifteen minutes later, after my heart rate slowed down to something more approximating a normal rhythm, I peeked through the Venetian blinds on the back door window, to see if those two angry wasps had summoned members of their gang to seek revenge. I was afraid they might be lying in ambush for me, just outside the door. Now.....you're probably thinking I was being a bit paranoid, but after all I did just destroy their maternity ward, so in their insect eyes, I was a despicable baby killer!

But protective though they may be of their nests, wasps apparently have a very short attention span, and after their nest was knocked down, they quickly lost interest in me and my back door. Shortly there afterward, I was able to return to the deck to enjoy the onset of the evening hours, and the lovely chirping of the birds getting ready to roost for the night.

By the way, I just got a copy of the Rolling Stones forty year anniversary re-release of, Exile On Main Street, with a CD of extra added tracks. Unfortunately the Stones, like may old great rock groups, have become somewhat of a tired old cliche' over the last decade or so, but this album, originally released in 1972 takes you back to when they were truly one of the world's most inspirational and beloved rock bands. A lot of really great memories, especially for an old timer like me!

Melissa XX

5 comments:

lisalisa said...

Wow that sounds like it would have been a bit scary. I hate wasps also. I have been stung a few times by the horrible things. Once I didnt even see it I just felt the sting in my arm, looked down and saw it piercing my skin.
I will shed no tears for the damn things.
x

Ms.LizzyBeth said...

Reminds me of an experience I had last summer which ended up being written out as one of my top 10 fav blog posts. Check it out for a rather amusing story/ battle.

http://entropylist.blogspot.com/2009/05/thee-dragon-slayer-comith.html

Melissa said...

@ Ms.LizzyBeth


Wow! Nearly identical experiences, save for your ingenious use of household chemicals! I particularly liked Calie's idea of using hair spray. Not as an incendiary device like she suggested, but to lacquer their wings, so they simply drop to the ground, where the evil little things can be crushed underfoot. Anything with an acid coated spike sticking out of its ass, deserves to be crushed! ;-)

Melissa XX

VĂ©ronique said...

I don't blame you being extra cautious and perhaps a bit crazed around wasps. They aren't like bees. They are malevolent! They'll sting you just because they're mean! Glad you won that battle.

Are the extra tracks for Exile on Main Street any good? Keith said, in his humble way, "I don't want to repaint the smile on the Mona Lisa." LOL. I have a CD release of the original. I think I'll stick with that. :)

Calie said...

I have them!!! Yes, I do HATE them.

And what about the meat bees? Surely you must have to deal with those too. I HATE them too!

@Liz - I had forgotten about that great post of yours, and the comment I filed.

Calie
xxx