Friday, May 21, 2010

It's So Nice To Be Accepted!

Just before my twin sister died, I came out to my older sister and my eldest niece. They were so very accepting, and I just love them for it! After my twin died, I felt so ashamed for not telling her, but she was suffering so, and I didn't want to burden her with something she could not do a thing about. Shortly after her death, I came out to the people I have been regularly conversing with on a particular message board for several years, and posted an avatar of the real me in a fitted sleeveless turquoise top. The name of the message board is irrelevant, and for privacy reasons shall remain nameless, but the point is, they have all accepted me as Melissa! Not a single one of them, male or female has said an unkind word to me about being trans! They all refer to me as she and her, and I just love it!

The females on the board in particular, have embraced me as one of their own, and that is particularly special for me, because that's what it has always been all about for me. It has never been about sexuality, but everything about being accepted as one of the girls.

I now exchange private messages with these women as Melissa, and they include me in their female only conversations. I was even invited to participate in a book discussion on The Divine Secrets Of The Ya-Ya Sisterhood! How wonderful is that?! Unfortunately I had difficulties accessing the book , once I down loaded it. For some reason or other, the people I downloaded it from, will not accept the password I used to download it in the first place! Computers and the internet! Still such a pain in the ass at times!

But the point is , I have found a group of women, and men, who accept me completely as a girl, and I just love it! It is so validating!

Here's something very sweet for you to listen to:

Take care,
Melissa XX

9 comments:

Stace said...

Thanks again for another lovely song :)

Stace

Caroline said...

The sisterhood is a broad church!

Caroline xxx

Halle said...

Thank you for a post with a lot of hope. Especially for a Sinatra performance I had never heard before! People either love his voice or hate it; 'guess you can figure where I stand. Here's another from the same album with an amazingly simple orchestral backup;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sh57XQFco60

Hugs, Halle

Samantha said...

I'm sorry you lost your sister, that regrettably is a pain I know

too well. I lost both a brother and a sister who never got to

know me really. My sister passed two years ago, but had been

missing for a whole lot longer than that. In fact her best friend

growing up had also been looking for her for a long time and found

me. Ironically enough, Mona had been in contact with my sister

slightly more recently than I had and thought I was using one of

my sister's pictures. We both kept looking and then she turned up

in the Social Security Death index. Mona and I have remained in

touch, honoring my sister's memory. Mona has always been kinda

part of the family so it only made sense.

In '03, shortly before I decided I couldn't take it anymore, I

lost my brother Jon. It was sudden, unexpected, and heart

breaking. We'd been on the phone talking until the wee hours of

the morning as we often did and passed minutes after than. He

never got to meet his sister either. In fact it was the shock of

Jon's passing that made me realize it was more than time to do

something about my little problem.

I miss them both.

Acceptance my dear is a powerful and heady elixir no? I remember

all too well how blessed I was, am, and have been, to have been so

accepted by everyone in my life when I first started down the path

of my own journey to a life of my own. Ironically now all these

years later, we all have trouble remembering me as a guy. It's

amazing what seven years can do.

Acceptance, regardless of the details, is a great blessing

Melissa, and I'm glad you are finding more and more of it as time

goes by. You deserve all the blessings you can get your hands on,

we all do!

Melissa said...

@ Samantha

Thank you so much for your kind thoughts, Samantha! I can't even imagine the pain of losing both a brother and a sister. Thanks for sharing such a poignant part of your history! Since I've know you, you have always been there to give a comforting word to a sister. God love you, sweetie!

Melissa XX

Anji said...

That was a lovely song.

VĂ©ronique said...

Acceptance as who we really are is wonderful! I'm glad you have found people who give that to you.

lisalisa said...

That is so great. Its wonderful when we can share who we are. It helps the world seem a great place.
xxx

Calie said...

Melissa, this is truly wonderful news. I hope you can meet some of those women (and men) someday.

Sinatra's voice will be around long after I am gone. Such talent! And me, the rocker....shussss....I will tell you that I do have just about every Sinatra song ever made in my collection.

Calie xxx