Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Free Food For The Homeless!

Yes free, but only if you look like this little guy. He is a wood mouse. As many of you know, I live in a mouse ridden hovel, out in the Virgina countryside. As I jokingly told sweet Nicky the other day, I am the reincarnation of Miss Havisham. In many ways its true! No I don't live in a mansion, far from it, and I'm not perpetually dressed in a old wedding gown, with one shoe missing, nor is there a stale wedding cake on the table, but I am a poor housekeeper, and the mice are everywhere!

I was fixing breakfast the other morning, when out of the corner of my eye, something gray and furry scampered across the hallway to my left! Hmmm....I thought, they're back! Then another gray shadow streaked by! Yes! They're definitely back!

Living in a house in the woods, mice are a constant problem. Who can blame them though? Of course they would rather live in a warm house full delicious things to eat, and comfortable padded furniture, and piles of clothing to nest in. I don't blame them a bit, and I wouldn't even mind them living here, if it weren't for one of their more disgusting habits. They have absolutely no concept of toilet etiquette! They do not appreciate the comfortable home I have provided for them. All I ask is that they take their personal business outside, but no! They have to shit where they eat! Well that's where I draw the line! Taking naps with me on the sofa, is fine. It's a good way to build camaraderie, but I will not tolerate guests taking a crap anywhere they please in my house!

Now paraphrasing Patrick Henry, "Gentlewomen may cry, peace, peace, but there is no peace! The war has actually begun!" I have laid out the tasty trays of De-Con, and there is evidence that a significant feeding has already taken place. So nice of them to come to the banquet! Come my lovelies! Eat!

Thanks to the inspiration of Lucy Melford, tonight's blog is written while listening to, Sibelius Symphonies, Nos 4 and 5.

Melissa XX

4 comments:

Naukishtae said...

Melissa, I do so enjoy your sence of humor.. even in the midst of a mouse infestation..

Naukishtae XXOO

caroline said...

Living on the edge of the countryside I am surprised we don't get more visits, perhaps the neighbours are more generous with what they leave lying about.

A couple of years ago they snook into the kitchen and gnawed their way into one of the cupboards. At first I thought Julie had suddenly discovered a passion for raw unsalted cashews, the bag was empty. When she claimed she was not guilty I looked closer only to find that I was running a Hilton for mice but as you say they have not been toilet trained!

Everything got a spring clean and disinfectant wash but not before I set a few traps with tempting cashews wired on as bait, never seen such fat mice!

Word must have got round, they have not been back.

Caroline xxx

Stace said...

I think that word got around about our cat... We live near the edge of the city along a strech of water and yet (touching the wooden table as this is typed) Nothing. Except a bored cat that has no prey.

The birds on the other hand seem to be able to read the in / out signs on the cat flap. The eat the rabbit's food stick when he's in, parading themselves in the garden, and retreat whenever he is out.

Love the humour.
Stace

Calie said...

They have to shit where they eat!

Why Miss Havisham....I don't believe I ever heard you utter such language in the past...

I know all about mice in the house. I hate them. I have been known to scream when one jumps out in front of me.

@Stace - our cats are worthless when it comes to mice.

Calie xxx