Sorry, but tonight's blog is a bit of a rant.
As most of you know, I go to my mother's on Monday night for supper. My late sister and her husband always used to come too. When Jane died, her husband, R kept coming, and of course he is always welcome. After all, he was married to my sister for 28 years. The trouble is, R is one of the most obsessive and obnoxious boors I have ever known. His doctor has prescribed psychotropic drugs, but he refuses to take them. He has become so addicted to feeling amped up all of the time, that he hates to take his meds, because they bring him down to a more normal human level, but without them, no one can stand to be around him, because he becomes a sort of Mr. Hyde. His ego completely takes over, and he becomes an expert on everything. Mention a subject in casual conversation, and immediately he chimes in, and lectures everyone on it. Nothing you have ever done is of any interest to him, because he has done more, or better, or harder, or longer......etc.. and he absolutely never fails to remind everyone, what a man he is.
I dearly love my sister and my mother, and I only get to see them once a week , but my bro-in-law completely ruins our get togethers, with his obnoxious boorish behavior. What to do? He's family, so we can hardly say, go away, yet he simply refuses to accept any criticisms of his behavior! Just last night, my mother cooked a pot roast. Yum! Was it ever good! She sliced it up, and put it on a serving platter on the dining room table. No sooner had she had placed the platter on the table, than R dug in, and unloaded half of its contents for himself! Shades of my sister's birthday dinner at the Olive Garden, where he unloaded all of the Parmesan cheese topped salad for himself! My sister saw what he was doing, and said something to the effect of , "Hey, why are you taking so much, you're being a pig!", to which he arrogantly and snottily replied, "That's just a value judgment." Then he tried to defend his piggish behavior, by saying," I'm a man, and I need more." To her credit, my sister answered, "Yes, it absolutely is a value judgment!" Of course he wasn't phased by her remarks at all, and once again, I just wanted to smack him!
After dinner, mom served us chocolate pudding for desert, but that wasn't good enough for him. He then had to scour my mother's cupboards, until he found her stash of mini Snicker's bars. He then grabbed a great handful of them and sat down at the kitchen table, and as my sister cleaned up and fed dishes into the dishwasher, and I made coffee for my mother and me, he unpeeled the chocolate bars, and devoured them. Then incredibly, as I was pouring coffee for my mother and me, he went back grabbed another handful!
R was my late sister's husband for 28 years, but because he has such an obnoxious personality, I really can't stand to be around him for more than five minutes at a time, but he's family and I can't avoid him. What am I suppose to do? I usually don't say anything and try to take it all in stride, but I'm afraid that one of these days, its all going to all come to head, and I'm going to lose it and unload on him. I know that won't do any good, because he is totally oblivious to any criticism. He has such a lofty self image, that he simply doesn't value what others think of him. How in the world does someone get that way? I wondered aloud to my sister after he left Monday night, how our sister ever stayed married to him for 28 years. She said that she just ignored him. I try to do that, but he is so "in your face", that it's virtually impossible.
Since I have retired, I have virtually eliminated all social contacts with males in my life. My brother-in-law remains the one male that I see on a regular basis. After a life time of dealing with egotistical overbearing men on my job, why does the one remaining male in my life have to be such an A-hole?
Thanks for letting me vent. Any advice on how to cope with such an obnoxious, yet unavoidable relative, will be greatly appreciated!