Friday, June 4, 2010

Rest In Peace, Thou Good And Faithful Servant.

Sad news, dear friends. My epilator is dying. For well over a year she has served me well, faithfully plucking hairs from my woolly body, two to three times a week. She must have plucked away for well over one thousand hours, but for the last few weeks she has been stumbling along in fits and starts. Today she nearly gave up the ghost, literally locking up every few minutes. I would have to shut her off, and spin her rotating tweezers with my thumb, then turn her back on again, to get her restarted. Then, a minute or two later, I would have to repeat the whole process all over again. Finally, I realized she was trying to tell me something, "Please Melissa, I just can't do it anymore!" Mercifully, I shut the old girl off for the last time.

I'm so sad that she is on her death bed. I was never more happy than when I got her last year. She was far better than any epilator I ever had before. With two large rows of rotating disc tweezers, she harvested my body hair, like a combine rolling through a field of wheat! The only thing she didn't do, was bundle the hairs up in little bales. Other than that, she was truly amazing!

But now she's done for, and tonight I ordered her replacement. I considered getting a model by John Deere, or International Harvester, hoping they would have one that did bale the plucked hairs, but alas, an internet search revealed that all they make is farm equipment, so I decided to get another Emjoi Emagine. The one in the link is from Target, but if you go to, you can get it for $35.00 less!

My presence at the picnic on Saturday is looking more and more unlikely. I would really like to go, but it's being held outside in a park, and the temperature forecast for Saturday afternoon is 93∘F! Now, I am follicularly challenged, and have not had my facial hair removed, so I absolutely have to wear a wig, concealer, and full makeup to look presentable as a woman. At 93∘with high humidity, I'm afraid I would look a complete fright, within half an hour of stepping outside my air conditioned vehicle.

I do have some very comfortable short shorts, and sleeveless tops I could wear, but it's the makeup and wig that trouble me the most. Because of the warm humid air, blowing in off of the Gulf Stream, summers here in Virgina are as hot and humid as down I Florida. In fact we often have hotter summer temperature than they do! Walking about my property for a half an hour or so in a wig and make up is about my limit, before retreating into the air conditioned comfort of my house. I can't imagine how horrible I would look, after several hours in mid 90 degree heat. I thought about the possibility of just showing up in drab, but not a single soul in my group has ever seen me as anything but Melissa, and I don't want them too either. It's the one place I can go where every knows and accepts me as the real me.

Melissa XX


VĂ©ronique said...

The Emjoi Emagine is more expensive than the Braun SilkEpil, by a bit, but maybe it's worth more too. Two rows of hair pluckers! I mean, that's twice as good, right?

93°F and humid sounds pretty nasty for any kind of outdoor activity, whatever you're wearing or not wearing. Although we could really use a bit of that heat right now!

Leslie Ann said...

I went with the Emjoi Emagine on your recommendation, and I have no regrets. It's a fine machine. And since mine only gets used seasonally (for now), it has hundreds of hours left in it!